


There’s not any I in Denial

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: First Kiss, Freshman Year, Jeremy and rich are bi disasters, M/M, Mutual Pinning, Pre-Squip, rich and Jeremy both think they’re straight but you know, squip doesn’t really exist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-03-13 09:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18937828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richard is straight and there’s not doubt about it, until a certain tall-ass changes everything.





	1. Richard is in de-Nile

Richard is definitely straight. (Well no, but we’ll get back to that in the future) It’s completely normal to think people of the same gender are very attractive everybody does that, right? What everyone does not do is trip over in the school hallways unlike Richard. It’s not like he wants to trip over everything and be laughed at by his own personal bullies. 

Richard would normally avoid this specific hallway as it’s known for bullies who shove and push you around. But lucky for him Richard’s alternative hallway route is blocked, off to a great start. He navigates the dangerous hall and maybe if Richard keeps his head down no one will bother him.  
Probably won’t hap-- “Get out of my way, loser” 

Before he could process what was happening, he’s shoved. Richard braced for the impact that never came and lands on something soft and comfortable. He glanced up to see what he landed on. It was a poor guy that he fallen on it was the guy’s chest that he had landed on. The guy wasn’t ripped by any means, but sure was attractive and tall (not that Richard is gay or anything!). The handsome guy had brown waves with light freckles dusted around his face. Richard’s face grew red, from embarrassment, of course not from anything else. He awkwardly got off the other teenager. “Sorry for falling on you.” Fucking lisp, Richard cringed at his annoying lisp and embarrassing himself in front of an attractive boy. His stupid lisp made him sound like he was 5 and his sorry came out as an “thorry”. 

Richard had learned the attractive guy’s name was Jeremy Heere and he had a few classes with him. Jeremy always had his boyfriend (?) around him, anti social headphones kid. Those 2 were conjoined at the hip, always partnered up in projects, always talked to each other, and never seen apart. Richard’s thoughts always drifted off to Jeremy. That guy was driving him insane. Richard was just drawn to him and longed to be his friend and talk to him (not in a gay way of course!). He got disappointed every time the other teen was gone from school. Whatever. What kind of loser tries to talk to someone and chickens out? Richard was that kind of loser. 

——

 

To fuel his insanity he got partnered with Jeremy fucking Heere, out of anyone he could have been grouped with it was him. Stupid language arts. 

“Rick right?” Jeremy asked approaching him.

“Uh it’s actually Richard.” He corrected, why did this have to be so embarrassing and tortuous for him?  
“Oh sorry-“  
Richard cut him off “it’s fine, seriously”  
Don’t say anything about my lisp don’tsayanythingaboutmylispdon’tsayanythingaboutmylispdon’tsayanythingaboutmylispdon’tsayanythingaboutmyli-  
“you have a lisp?”  
All of Richard’s thoughts go to a screeching halt. He froze, he goes bright red. His facial expression answers Jeremy’s question for him.  
“Your lisp is cut-I mean cool! it’s cool.” His heart rate accelerates through the roof and his stomach butterflies flutter even more. Richard doesn’t know exact reason why that happens around Jeremy which frustrates him even more because he’s straight and not gay.  
“Well uh thanks. We should get to work now” it’s not Richard’s finest responses to compliments but he’s already embarrassed himself plenty of times that he doesn’t care enough. They both do an okay amount of work, but Richard’s nerdier side takes the best of him and he rambles on and on about the English assignment to Jeremy. Which slows down their progress on the project by an amount. The 2 teens exchange phone numbers as the bell rings and head their separate ways.

____

Jeremy: Hey I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house to work on the project?

Richard: Yeah I want to 

Jeremy: Okay see you  
_____

He’s glad to escape from his home and to Jeremy’s. Richard rang the doorbell once and then twice for good measure. The door opens revealing Jeremy and he lets out a sigh of relief because if Jeremy’s parents opened the door it would’ve been awkward. They walk to Jeremy’s room, it’s decked out in geek/nerd (what’s the difference?) and retro merch it was overwhelming to say the least. He admires the collection of old school stuff and videos games. The only collection he had himself were lighters of many that ranged from different colors to designs and only a few video games which paled in comparison to Jeremy’s. 

“Sorry my room is really geeky and messy I should’ve cleaned.”

“What? You’re room is really fucking cool. Not that many people have a retro collection like yours don’t sell yourself short.” Richard’s complementing skills aren’t very good. 

“Actually my best friend Michael has like the world’s best old school collection you have to see to believe it.”  
“Michael?”  
“you might know him? He wears a red hoodie with patches and headphones?” Oh Jeremy’s (maybe) boyfriend. Great.  
“Are you guys dating or something?” God he wished he had a filter.  
“Well no-“ Jeremy is abruptly cut off by what he guesses is Jeremy’s dad walking into his room.

“Jeremy! Who are you talking to? It it a girl? Are you with a girl?” Mr. Heere asked. Richard squirmed nervously as he felt uncomfortable and embarrassed.  
“Nono it’s just someone from school dad.” Jeremy answered embarrassed. Mr.Heere turned to look at Richard and he waved awkwardly to the pant less father. He walks out and Jeremy’s face is completely red and it’s cute (not that Jeremy wasn’t already cute before!)  
“Sorry about my dad”  
“It happens.”  
“Now let's get to work”


	2. Jeremy is having a bisexual awakening

Jeremy was insanely embarrassed already and he would think it would be humanly possible to be _this_ embarrassed.

  1. He got Richard’s name wrong
  2. He almost slipped up and called Richard’s lisp cute instead of cool (if he did Michael would never let him live that down)
  3. He forgot to remove any traces of geekiness in his room as he didn’t think Richard would be here this early
  4. His dad came in and embarrassed both him AND Richard and he wasn’t wearing pants! Again.



From what Jeremy knew of Richard that he 

  1. Was a loner (or maybe he just doesn’t have friends)
  2. Incredibly dorky 
  3. An English nerd (he could listen to him all day if he got the chance)
  4. Always wore dorky sweaters that seemed to swallow him up whole
  5. Cute lisp
  6. Had stereotypical nerd glasses 
  7. Clumsy (trips a LOT)
  8. Short (like REALLY short)
  9. Probably didn’t have braces as he has a tooth gap



He drawn the conclusion that Richard made Jeremy feel weird inside, a feeling which he couldn’t place. Kind of like the way Christine makes him feel, but he has a crush on Christine. Jeremy isn’t gay 100% straight, but if Jeremy was gay he’d think Richard was attractive and his type.

 

Richard and him are just acquaintances, he could see them becoming friends though. Maybe Michael, Richard, and him can play Apocalypse of the Damned together sometimes and video games if he’s into that type of stuff. Honestly the name Richard makes Richard sound like an 80 year old grandpa that yells kids to get off of his lawn. If Jeremy and Richard were friends he’d nickname him Rich as it made Richard sound cooler (not that Rich wasn’t already cool or anything). He wondered if he’s over thinking things he does that a lo-

 

“Earth to Jeremy? Earth to Jeremiah Adam Heere????” Jeremy’s thought process is interrupted by Richard who’s waving his hand in front of Jeremy’s face. “Huh what?” He dumbly responded after a pause he followed up with, “Adam? That’s not even my middle name???? Not even remotely close? Where did you get Adam from?” 

 

“I dunno I just guessed and why’d you stare at me for like a solid 5 minutes?” Richard asked. Fuck, Richard probably thinks Jeremy is a super creepy person staring at him like that. 

 

“I was just thinking about……” Shit shit shit shit Jeremy can’t just admit he was thinking Richard is cute! ”...uh….........how pretty your eyes are???” If Michael were h(e)ere he’d be laughing his ass off. “What?” Richard blinked at least 5 times. His eyes widened and his face goes a tomato red. It was adorable how flustered he got. He’d looked just as confused as Jeremy was, if not more. “I um actually meant to say that I was thinking about how Richard makes you sound like an 80 year old man yelling kids to get off his lawn.” Slightly less worse than the last but at least it was true this time. Richard laughed and quickly covered his mouth with his hand to hide his laughter. He is pretty sure his heart skipped a few beats at the noise. Jeremy continued his thoughts. “I think Rich makes you sound cooler. Can I call you Rich from now on? If that’s okay!” He quickly asked if any faster you couldn’t understand him. “Yeah I’m cool with that. It’s better than being called Dick.” Rich answered. They worked in peace after their interactions.

 

After a while of working on the English project and Rich’s rant on the assignment, Jeremy realized it was dinner time. “Hey Rich I was wondering do you want me to order pizza to each while we work?” He asked Rich. “Yeah sure I don’t care as long it’s pineapple.” Rich replied 

 

“If you wanted pineapple pizza I would’ve kicked you out right now.” Jeremy HATED pineapple pizza and after the pineapple pizza incident. He shivered at the memory it still haunted him to this day. The order was placed and it arrived after a few minutes of waiting . 

 

“I haven’t had this good of pizza since I was 5. I forgot how good it was the lunch line pizza sucks.” Rich said after he swallowed a mouth of pizza.

 

“Where do you go for lunch anyways and who do you sit with? I don’t see you anywhere during lunch.” 

 

“Oh I go to the library. I don’t have anyone to sit with anyways” 

 

“Well you could sit with me and Michael? I mean only if you want to and not becauseyoufeellikeyouhavetocauseIask-“ Rich cut him off. “Yeah sure, I wanna meet Michael.” 

 

After finishing the pizza they finally finished the project and Rich went home much to the internal disappointment of Jeremy. He decided to take text Michael so they could talk about whatever just happened. 

 

Jeremy: Michaeelll

 

Jeremy: Michhhhhhhhaaaaaellll 

 

Michael: what 

 

Jeremy: can you come over 

 

Michael: yep 

___________ 

“Anyways I panicked and said I was thinking how pretty his eyes are-“ 

 

“You did what!?” Michael practically spat out his slushie and was laughing to his grave.

 

“Then I actually told him I was thinking about the name Richard makes him sound old and he laughed. I’d pay to hear that sound again. Kind of like Christine’s laugh? He got flustered after I told him his eyes are pretty and it was really cute???? It made me really happy that he was happy I don’t know why? When the pizza came I asked him who he sat with at lunch and he said no one so I told him that he could sit with us.” Jeremy basically summarized what happened with Rich to Michael. 

 

“Speaking of pizza-“ Oh hell no

 

“Don’t you dare-“ 

 

“Remember the pineapple-“

 

“Stop right now Michael-” 

 

“Pizza incident-“ 

 

“Do not finished your sentence-“ 

 

“Where you dropped-“ 

 

“No no no no do not remind me-“ 

 

“Your pineapple pizza all over Christine and stained her shirt?” Michael finally finished, with a smug grin plastered on his face. Jeremy’s face soured at the memory. Why him? 

 

“But seriously dude, you have a crush on Rich.” Michael stated like it was true. 

 

“What no! I’m not gay I like Christine! Rich just makes me feel the same way-“ Everything dawns on Jeremy, realization.

 

“Exactly my point.” Michael shoots him an amused look. 

 

“Okay maybe I like Rich- But I’m not gay because I like Christine.” 

 

“You could be Bisexual or maybe Pansexual?” Michael suggested. Well Jeremy didn’t think about that. 

 

Okay maybe Jeremy likes Rich. With his cute lisp, passion for English, pretty blue eyes, slight tooth gap, and his glasses and sweaters that amplified how much he was falling for him. 

 

Jeremy is definitely not straight.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I’m actually pretty proud of this chapter!


	3. Rich: (the title)

Rich’s symptoms didn’t match anything.

  * Excessive Sweating
  * Butterflies in stomach
  * Heart racing
  * Blushing
  * Nervousness



All symptoms caused by a single someone: Jeremy Heere. He searched and searched the internet and nothing, not a single thing. Maybe his brother would know? His brother, Matt would graduate high school when Rich finished Freshman year around 4 years older than him.  Leaving Rich behind and no one the hangout with. Rich would occasionally hung out with Matt and his friends.

 

“Hey Matt?”

 

“What do you want little Dick?” Matt teased, much to Rich’s annoyance.

 

“I told you to stop calling me that.” Rich rolled his eyes. “Anyways, I was going to ask you about why this person makes me feel _things_.”

 

“You have to be more specific than _things_.”

 

“Like I get really nervous around him, I get red in the face easier around him, my heart rate is just through the roof, and I get butterflies in my stomach-“

 

Matt cut him off. “It’s called a crush that’s why dumbass.”

 

“Wh- no! I don’t have a crush on Jeremy! I’m not gay! It’s normal to checkout guys, every guy does that! Plus I’m not gay I like girls!” He defended himself.

 

“It’s not normal. Hot take: maybe there’s other sexualities than gay, lesbian, and straight.”

 

“What are you implying?”

 

“You could I dunno maybe like BOTH, guys and gals? Have you considered that?”

 

“Well no but-“

 

“Literally what you just described to me is a crush on a guy called ‘Jeremy’, whoever that is”

 

“Like I said I’m straight. I don’t have a crush on him. He just makes me feel _things_.”

 

“And what _things_ you’re feeling is a crush. Do some research you’ll see what I mean.” Matt said as he started shutting the door on Rich.

 

“Wait bu-“ Andddd the door slams shut. Great. Guess he’ll have to do this ‘research’ his brother speaks of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took forever and it’s shorter than the others. I’ve been busy and haven’t been in a writing mood


	4. Rich is dense

_Rich nuzzled his head into Jeremy’s chest, followed by Jeremy planting forehead kisses on him. He tilted his head upwards to see eye to eye with Jeremy, just to lean forward the tiniest for a kiss on the lips. Rich ran his hands through the other’s unruly brunette hair. Jeremy’s arms wrapped around him in a comfortable position. His soft blue cardigan rubs against Rich. he rested his head on Jeremy’s shoulder and started trailing kisses on his neck-_

 

**BEEP BEEP BEEP-**

 

Rich hit the snooze button, knocking it over in the process. He groaned and rolled off his bed and placed the poor alarm clock back on his night stand. Rich doesn’t know why his dream included him and Jeremy kissing. Which confused him because he’s straight and definitely not into guys, but if he _was_ gay he wouldn’t object to what him and Jeremy did in his dream. Dreams don’t mean anything anyways. Rich hasn’t done what research Matt told him to do, he’ll do that later. He gets ready and threw on a basic flannel. No one’s going to judge him for wearing a flannel, right? Rich is actually excited for school for once because he gets to eat lunch with Jeremy! He peered out the window and the bus hasn’t left yet. What a miracle. He skipped breakfast. It’s not like he had anything to eat anyways and who needs breakfast? Rich practically skipped the bus stop. He got on the bus and he plugged in his earbuds and put on his favorite Taylor Swift album.  

__________

 

The first few periods of school goes by in a blur. The bell rung obnoxiously and Rich dashed out of the classroom and to the cafeteria excitedly. Once he reached the cafeteria he scanned the room for Jeremy. He spotted the tall-ass awkwardly gesturing in Rich’s direction. Rich walked over to where Jeremy and his friend (Michael ?) were sitting. He could only hear a piece of the ongoing conversation Jeremy and Michael were having:

 

“ohhhhh I see why you invited him here. He’s definitely cute. You’re into the dorky cute types aren’t you Jeremy?” Michael teased.

 

“No! Maybe- but that’s not the point- he’s right there! Michael act natural!” Jeremy said, panicked.

 

“Am I interrupting something?” Rich asked.

 

“No! Not at all! You could sit down next to me,” Jeremy seemed to brighten up at the sight of Rich. “ Anyways I need to introduce you and Michael. Rich meet Michael, Michael meet Rich.” Jeremy continued. There comes Rich’s symptoms rushing in.

 

“Cool to meet you dude. Jeremy has been talking about you all the time-“ Michael was cut off by Jeremy slapping his hands over Michael’s mouth.

 

“Did you just lick my hand Michael!?” Jeremy quickly pulled away his hands and cleaned his hands on a poor napkin.

 

“You should know me in the years we’ve known each other I would do that.” Michael stated. Rich laughed and Jeremy looked at Rich in a way he couldn’t place. Rich pulled out his lunchbox, he stopped buying lunch from the lunch line after his tray smacked out of his hands and was traumatized. He packed a sad, soggy sandwich he half heartedly made last night. Jeremy bought lunch from the lunch line that looked like prison food. Michael had brought some questionable looking 7-11 sushi and a cherry slushy for lunch. Rich didn’t want to mess this up, he _really_ wanted to be ~~boy~~ friends with Jeremy.

 

“So do you play any video games?” Jeremy asked curious.

 

“I have a Wii which is technically my brother’s and a DS. I play….” He was actually saving up for an Xbox. _Fuck I can’t say I play Animal Crossing, Jeremy would think I’m even more of a loser._ “..uh.. Pokémon?” Rich answered. Pokémon was basic enough Jeremy wouldn’t judge him. He only played 1 Pokémon game so far. Michael snorted at his answer.

 

“You have a brother? Me and Michael are an only child, but we’re basically brothers.”  

 

“Yeah he’s 4 years older than me.”

 

“Pokémon is a pretty good video game franchise. Though I think the newer games are easier to beat now.” Jeremy said. Rich stupidly spilled his water on the table and reached for a napkin, just as Jeremy was. Their hands brushed, _okay wow Jeremy’s hand is soft_ _I want to hold it._ _Not now gay thoughts, wait what? I’m not gay!_. Rich’s symptoms intensified by a lot.

 

“Rich are you sick? Your face is really red. Do you want me to check your temperature ?” Jeremy asked, his face colored with concern. He swore he could hear Michael suppressing a laugh.

“Uh sure?” Rich didn’t know what to expect. Jeremy checked Rich’s temperature by placing his hand on his forehead.

 

“Oh you’re not that warm I think your face is just really red for some reason.”

 

“Y-Yeah that’s probably true.” Shit his lisp always got worse whenever he was nervous, but why was he so nervous? The bell saved him by ringing, signaling the end of lunch.

_______

 

It was so unfair of how attractive Jeremy was and how ~~kissable~~ hot his face was! Rich felt a feeling he couldn't place around Jeremy. Maybe it was about time to do his research?

 

**|search:|** is it normal to like girls and guys?

 

Rich’s straight but this is for research purposes.

 

**(Search results:** ) bisexual pansexual questioning

 

He clicks on the first one “Bisexual”.

 

**bi·sex·u·al**

**/ˌbīˈsekSH(o͞o)əl/**

**adjective**

**1.**

**sexually attracted and romantically attracted to both men and women.**

 

That……actually made sense, could he be Bisexual? Maybe he _does_ have a crush on Jeremy. Maybe his symptoms _did_ match something, a crush.

  
  



	5. Falling for U!

“Okay here’s the game plan: you ask out Rich to the arcade. Easy peasy Jeremy” Michael told him through the phone..

 

“Yeah, but he’ll reject me!” Jeremy exclaimed

 

“He likes you back I can tell. When you thought he was sick because his face was red, he was blushing!”

 

“I have 0 chances with him. End of story Michael.”

 

“Just invite him to our video game sessions I’ll be with you to be your wingman. I’ll bring popcorn, you guys are _great_ entertainment.”

 

“Alright but if it doesn’t work I’m blaming you.”

 

Michael hung up and Jeremy was left with no other choice than to text Rich.

———

Jeremy: Hey do you wanna play video games with me and Michael?

 

owo uwu bi-ass crush: Sure

 

Jeremy rolled his eyes and as Michael changed his contact names. He’ll change it back later.

_____

 

The doorbell rang and Jeremy sprinted down the stairs, almost tripping down the stairs.

 

“Hey Rich” Jeremy greeted and Rich was panting for some reason

 

“Sorry tired I ran here.” He looked like he sprinted a marathon. Jeremy let Rich to his room, with Michael laying down on his bed. Michael true to his word brought popcorn.

 

“You look like ass” Michael said plainly to him.

 

“I try my best”

 

Jeremy pulled out his video game collection consisting mostly of retro and vintage games.

 

“Which one do you guys wanna play?” He asked

 

“What’s apocalypse of the damned?” Rich asked, interested.

 

“Dude have you been living under a rock?!?” Michael exclaimed.

 

“It’s about- you know what? We’ll show you it’s easier.” Jeremy said. He grabbed the controller and handed it to Rich.

___

Rich didn’t know what he was doing half the time in the game. He was just mashing buttons.  

 

“How do you use this item?” Rich asked Jeremy.

 

“Here I’ll get it.” Jeremy leaned towards Rich and he moved Rich’s hands on the controller, touching him. Rich’s face was red as a tomato.

 

“This controller isn’t working, I’ll get another.” Jeremy dived under is bed to grab a controller and _wow what a view._ Rich pulled Jeremy’s blanket over his legs.

 

“What are you staring at? _Rich_?” Michael questioned.

 

“uh- there’s a nice view?” Rich responded.

 

“Of what?” Michael pressed, grinning.

 

“well-“ Rich was cut off by Jeremy “I got the controller!”

Rich thanked Jeremy and Michael was full on snickering.

 

“What are you laughing at Michael?”

 

“Nothing.” Michael said, suspiciously. After that they continued to play.

____

 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom” Rich said and Jeremy paused the game. After what seemed forever Rich still wasn’t back.

 

“I’ll go check on him just in case.”

 

“Awww worried about your boyfriend? What a good boyfriend?”

 

“Shut up” Jeremy said, flustered. He walked out of his room and down the stairs. Rich was at the bottom of the stairs. In an instant Jeremy tripped on the stairs, causing him to fall. Jeremy crashed in Rich, knocking the both of them down. They fell on the floor, Jeremy laying on Rich. _This reminds me of how we met each other_. Jeremy got off of Rich.

 

“We should stop falling on each other.” Jeremy said, nervously.

 

“Y-Yeah” Rich looked away with a look on his face Jeremy couldn’t read. The pair climbed up the stairs back to Jeremy’s room. _Wait I forgot to say no homo! Even though it’s yes homo._

 

“Guys I have the best idea! We should play Truth or Dare.” Michael suggested.

 

“What is this, a teen girl sleepover?” Jeremy said.

 

“It’ll be fun and we have 3 people!”

 

“Fine” Jeremy caved in.

 

“I’m down” Rich said.

 

“Okay Rich truth or dare?” Michael asked.

 

“Truth?”

 

“What has the “nice view” and what were you actually staring at?” Rich immediately flushed red and mumbled something Jeremy couldn’t make out.

 

“What was that Rich? Could you speak up?”

 

“IwasmaybelookingatJeremy’sass” Rich practically squeaked. (Which was really adorable). The words registered in Jeremy’s mind-

 

“w _AIT whAT!”_ Jeremy screeched. He and Rich were red as the Kool aid man at this moment. Michael was currently laughing his ass off and choking on popcorn.

 

“Michael Truth or dare?” Jeremy asked, still blushing.

 

“Dare!” Michael responded bravely.

 

“I dare to ask out _The_ Jake Dillinger at school tomorrow!”

 

“Low blow dude. I’m _hurt_ Jeremy” Michael said dramatically, he continued. “Truth or dare Rich?”

 

“Dare?” Rich responded.

 

“I dare you to kiss Jeremy.” All time seemed to stop and the seconds felt like hours. Jeremy turned to Rich, looking into his eyes. Rich closed his eyes and leaned forward.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe 
> 
> (ps I update in 1-2 weeks)


	6. discontinued

I probably only have like 2 readers but im sorry for discontinuing this fic because I realized how badly written it is and ooc. I might write more richjer fics in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic please leave comments and leave constructive criticism


End file.
